Busy, busy, busy . . . .

Well - big news here! You guys are amazing - can I just say that first? We raised enough to get the initial application in, and I'm almost finished getting things filled out. I'll still need to wait on the doctor's letter, recommendation letters, and a couple of other things, but it's close.

Fundraising has been a good topic of conversation around here, and thanks to my awesome sister, we'll be selling T-shirt scarves starting sometime next week. Many more details will follow. We're also hoping to organize other fundraisers - all information can be found in the Fundraising Events tab.

I've also started my second job. It's not much, but we are still getting paid at my teaching job (for now), so every extra bit I can get is one step closer to getting Tanya home.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I'm going to be quite the busy bee for the next five months or so between my teaching job, two graduate classes, my second job, and trying to get more fundraising going. Believe me, this is not something I could keep up indefinitely, but for now, and for Tanya? No problem.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I could never fully express what it means to have people who are as awesome as you are in my life. God is truly amazing, right?

Changes and Challenges

I've had to make some tough decisions in the past few weeks. Life is getting a little more complicated than I'd like. But that's life, right?

Part of what is happening is an almost certain and significant pay cut for me - at least until I can find a new job. Those of you who live near me know how much trouble my school has been in, both financially and academically. The finances are finally catching up to the district, and it looks like it will be up to us teachers to make up that difference. So . . . my fundraising has to take a little vamp up so that I can come out of this with as little debt as possible. Supporting a child costs money, too!

What does this really mean? Well, for starters, I know now that I need to open this blog up as much as possible in the hopes that a larger network of people might be able to help get Tanya home. This means no more pictures ..... sad, I know .... and as little specific information as possible. It's a tradeoff, but for now I feel like it's the right thing to do. So - share the website with your friends, churches, groups, everyone! We need all the help we can get.

Our current goal is to just raise enough to get the second Application submitted - around $785. This seems a little more doable than the whole adoption cost, doesn't it?? Please keep us in your prayers as this process continues.

Thanks!!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I know I've been told - repeatedly- that this is really a hurry up and wait sort of process . . . and I have believed every word. Waiting to find Tanya was hard - it felt like it took forever. Thankfully, my application part one was quickly processed and was approved on January 3rd!! The next step is to received application part two and then to, of course, complete said application. I have been told that this part is much more intensive and time-consuming. It also takes around 30-45 days to process unlike the quick week or two of application part one. This all makes sense and is quite a logical sequencing of events. But then here I sit, waiting for application part two. I so badly just want to get started, to get going on the more time-consuming parts of the application, but I won't know what those are until it gets here. This is killing me . . . I am not naturally a very patient person. This does not bode well, I know. I like to make lists of tasks and check them off, one by one (see my added checklist: The Process and Where We Stand tab). But I won't have the checklist until I get the second application. Humph. In some ways, I'm convinced God has led me down this path to teach me many lessons - but importantly the lesson of patience. I just keep hearing that childhood song, played on our record player in the play room over the garage, "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient, too. Just think of all the times that others have to wait for you." I'm pretty sure I remember a snail singing those words. Wise words.

Lessons are hard.

Part of the reason the waiting is soooo hard at this point is that I have learned that Russia has recently changed their adoption laws increasing the waiting period from 10 to 30 days. It's unclear at this point if this will stay in place, but for now it is what it is. That's three more weeks before she can get home. That's a third trip to Russia instead of the former two. That's 20 more days to wait. Just wait.

Lessons are hard.

Ways to Help

I have decided that I need to let people help - a few friends have been asking, and it is time. This is not always easy for me, but I must acknowledge that I cannot do this on my own. The total cost for getting Tanya home will surpass $40,000, but because of some sizable tax credits and hopefully some grant sources, I only (only!?!) need to raise around $20,000. Let's pray that those tax credits remain during these uncertain times. $20,000 seems insurmountable in so many ways, but I believe in the power of God, the power of prayer, and the power of people. That would be a miracle, but I believe that we can get this done.

I am not asking you to give money unless you feel called to do so. Please remember that every penny counts - Tanya and I appreciate even the smallest donations. If you feel as though God is asking you to help with this, we hope that you will help us with this journey. The button is available on the right-hand side of the blog and will remain there - and I will give periodic updates.

Thank you.

The Two Sides of Christmas

Merry Christmas!!


I love Christmas. Love, love, love Christmas. And no, it's not because of the gifts. I love the spirit of Christmas - family, friends, pretty lights, getting just the right gift for someone else. And this Christmas, I got one of the best gifts anyone could ask for. My adoption agency finally found the little girl I had been looking for, and she is available for international adoption.


But this Christmas is bittersweet. Because while I get to be all excited to finally get the process moving, Tanya is still in a Russian special needs home. While I have heard good things about some of the women who work there, it is still an institution. And I have to keep reminding myself that Tanya won't just have the regular orphan issues - attachment, behavior, possible medical issues not disclosed - she also has the entire set of post-institutionalized issues. Images of mental institutions from the early 20th century here in America always pop into my head when someone trots out that term: post-institutionalized.

So my Christmas prayers are for her. My Christmas wishes are also, and maybe even more so, for those who surround her physically now. I pray every day that the caregivers are able to have patience, kindness, and love for the many children they have in their care day in and day out. I pray that they will love my little girl until I can get her home. While cannot imagine doing their jobs, I pray that God supports them as they somehow do. I pray for the other children - not just those in Tanya's home, but for all who are stuck in institutions while we celebrate in cozy houses with families gathered around decorated trees. I pray that God will keep Tanya safe while she is still so many miles away. And I pray that this will be her last institutionalized Christmas, her last Christmas away from her forever family. We believe in the power of prayer here at the Fisher house, so we covet your prayers as well. Will you join us?

Protection

Many of you will not understand this. Those of you with real phobias probably will.

A little background here: I am terrified of needles -- Always have been (really, you can ask my mom). When I was a kid, I remember running around a school gym trying to get away from my mom at a random immunization clinic. I also remember 'going along' to my sisters' doctor appointments and then *surprise* time for a shot for me, too. My mom got clever - she had to. Once I got older, I just avoided needles. I was almost not allowed to come back to high school because I had not gotten my MMR booster. I was almost not allowed to come to my daycare job because I had not started my Hepatitis B series. For almost 10 years after that awful day, I managed to almost completely avoid needles (except for that one TB test .... ). And then I needed a good-paying job, and the Red Cross was going to send me to Kuwait. There was one catch - I had to update ALL of my immunizations and get a few new ones. A total panic attack, many tears, and an embarrassing mother-daughter moment later, I survived all 8 shots. When I ended up not going with the military, my first relief was that I would not have to get the smallpox, anthrax, and finish the Hep A and B series. To be honest, I'm not sure I could have gone through with all of those. Sad, I know.

And then came Tanya. Because she has a compromised immune system, it is imperative that I be immunized for everything possible. I could never forgive myself if I brought something home that made her sick. So I knew that I needed to bite the bullet and finish the Hep A and B series.

Today I made my first sacrifice for my daughter (I really like the sound of that .... my daughter). Yes, I've spent time and some money on this process, but those were easy. Today, I got a shot. And the most amazing part? I felt the prayers of those of you who saw my facebook post, I looked at a picture of Tanya, and I didn't panic. I didn't cry. I didn't avoid the appointment. I didn't even make the poor nurse wait. Because I would do anything to protect her. Anything. And today, even though it may not seem like a big deal to some of you, I began to show that.

It's in the Mail!

I spent six hours this weekend watching a pre-adoption workshop. And believe it or not, it was worth every minute. I got to 'meet' many of the people who work at my agency and to hear many more specific facts on the process. It was long. But it was also helpful - and required by the Hague.

I feel as though I just finished an enormous final exam because my much bigger task this weekend was to finish all of my adoption questionnaire essays for the application part one (the easy part). Some were easy to answer, but some were much more complicated and difficult to put into words. How can I explain why I know I'm ready to adopt a child with special needs? How can I describe that tug I've always felt on my heart, my soul to make sure to take care of the children who no one else wants? How can I relay the message that I've just always known I needed to adopt a special needs child? Has it been forever? Or did it start on that day over 19 years ago when my dear and loved sister came home and told me, her preteen-mess-of-a-middle-school-sister that she was pregnant and was releasing her child for adoption? Not that he wasn't wanted - believe me, he was. Or maybe it was the day that I met Tyler's family. Maybe it was even the day that they first invited us all to their house. Their home. Maybe it was the day I watched as my sister held her beautiful baby and just loved him. She loved him enough to give him the life and family she knew she could not. Maybe that was the day the adoption seed was planted in my heart. Maybe it was that day I watched her struggle with one of the hardest and most important decisions of her life. Maybe.

How do I explain how much I love this child? Do you remember that moment you first saw the two lines show up on the pregnancy test? That's what seeing Tanya for the first time felt like. Like I was newly aware of this life that was meant to be a part of mine. Like God was whispering - no, shouting - at me telling me I had a child on the way. And just like a biological mother's love grows for her child as her belly grows, so has my love for Tanya grown as my heart has grown. And now? She is a part of me - for better or for worse. It doesn't matter that I have met her, talked to her. Did you need to meet your unborn child to love him? Did you have to wait until he was old enough to have a conversation to bond with him? I didn't think so.

How could I explain that in my adoption essays?