Thursday, May 31, 2012

Hanging On

I know I've been quiet on here as of late.  I've been a bit quiet in general.  Life has been taking many turns - some good and some bad - and I'm just trying to hang on.  I'll try to break it down here.

My school system has been going through a lot of changes.  As I said earlier, we knew big things were coming due to severe budget problems.  This has taken us all through quite the roller coaster.  First we were all given lay off notices with the promise that the better, qualified teachers would get a call back before the end of the school year.  I, along with many others, did not really worry about the future.  And we went through the next couple of weeks just floating along.  Last Friday, we were given a letter to hand out to the kids, and I read it quickly before I went to pass it along.  I was shocked.  In this letter, the school's new state-appointed leader was announcing that he was going to change the school to a charter school - a public/private, corporation-run school.  This is a completely new school.  No pension, no good insurance (the biggest selling point for the adoption agency), no decent salary.  And this threw me.  I'll admit that I'm still thrown, but I'm also applying like crazy and hopefully interviewing soon.

I am happy to relate that my home study is almost complete.  It has been quite frustrating to have delay after delay with the home study due to vacations in the small office of my home study agency.  But we finally got through the visits, and now I am waiting for the formal written study.  I did find out through out this process that I will have to file some paperwork with Homeland Security that can take up to two months to come back before my dossier can be submitted.  Given the current state of adoption in Tanya's region, this is not too terrible, but we're still hoping and praying that her region will open up to adoption again.

I've heard so many pieces of advice from friends, family, and strangers over the last few weeks, some helpful and some not.  The most comforting conversations have been with those who know me well and understand how much I love my child and teaching.  These people have offered words that give me hope, words that comfort me by saying that God's timing will be right.  That maybe this is just the opportunity for me to work more and save more money while the region is closed, that the delays with the home study are not too bad because the region is closed, that maybe my current job is too stressful to keep with a child who needs my full attention - and this is just God pushing me toward something new and better.

I do trust in God's timing, as difficult as that can be.

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; 
    it speaks of the end 
    and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
    it will certainly come
    and will not delay."

Habakkuk 2:3 NIV