Part Two

Well, it's done. The next big step in the process for me is done, and now our fate rests in others' hands. I thought I would be so excited to send in the application part 2. I thought I would feel so relieved to have it done. But something about knowing that this is so very final (and discovering that I still have negative net worth . . . stupid student loans) is more disconcerting to me than I thought it would be. What if they don't like my answers? What if my house isn't good enough, big enough, fancy enough? What if I don't make enough money? What if, what if, what if??? I will admit that after I mailed out the packet today, I got to my second job early, sat in the parking lot, and cried. I'm still not sure why I cried. I think it was a combination of relief, fear, and total exhaustion (I figured out the other day that I'm working 80 hours a week, taking 6 graduate credit hours, and still trying to find time to run). I am so afraid that something will go terribly awry at this point and I will lose her. Most of me understands that I don't really have her yet, that she isn't officially mine yet, but my heart doesn't see it that way.

So I pray. I pray and I pray and I pray. I pray that the processing will go quickly and all will be well. But mostly I pray for peace and comfort for me and for Tanya. She doesn't even know about any of this! I do know that she feels our prayers, so I will continue to pray. Only God knows the right timing for these things, and I have to let go and trust that all will happen as it should.

Happy Birthday, Tanya!!

Children should have cake, candles to blow out, and people to sing to them on their birthdays. This was and still is how it works in my family. Some of my favorite (and still saved) voicemails are those songs from the Southern niece and nephews or sisters far away.

Today Tanya turns 5. My baby is 5! Thousands of miles away. I hope someone is singing to her. I hope someone is celebrating with cake. But I know that this is most likely not true. So my family and I will celebrate her birthday here with cake, candles to blow out, and singing. We will take pictures, save her presents, and make her another cake when she gets here, but somehow it has just become so very important to me that at least someone is celebrating Tanya's birthday. The more the merrier, right?

So that brings me to my birthday wish on behalf of my daughter. Would you help us ensure that Tanya will not spend another birthday without cake, candles, singing, and her forever family? In honor of Tanya's 5th birthday, we are asking that people donate $5. Just $5. It's not much if one person gives, but with the power of numbers, we can give Tanya the best birthday present of all - her home.

I know we don't get a lot of comments on here, but would you please also post your birthday wishes along with your donation? I'll save them for Tanya to show her just how much she was loved even before she got here.

Happy Birthday, Tanya!


Update: 
I just wanted to personally thank and acknowledge all of you who gave in honor of Tanya's birthday.


Thank you so much to:
Jerry and Kelly
Cherri and Pete
Matt
Jackie
Cari
Doris


And also to those of you who helped before Tanya's birthday:
Jill
Jackie
Matt
Heather
Jill
Randy


Thank you all so much for your financial and spiritual support!

Learning Curve

Things I have figured out in the past couple of weeks:

1. Working a full time job, a part time job, and taking two grad classes leaves almost no time in your schedule for anything else

2. You can't cut T-shirts with a dull scissors

3. You can't shop for sharp scissors if you don't have time

4. You can't fill out adoption paperwork and 1040's if you don't have time

5. It's hard to keep up with a blog when working two jobs and taking classes

6. It's hard to organize fundraisers without time

7. Working in an 80+ degree classroom all day will start to scramble your brain

8. Running is a great stress reliever

9. Shin splints really hurt!

All that said, I am starting to get into the swing of things here . . . as much as can be considered. I did apply for the one school job I could find in the area, so prayers would be appreciated about this. I also actually had today off work (what?? a day off?!?), so I'll be getting a lot done, including tax and adoption forms and T-shirts.

I've heard a few other good fundraising ideas from some people that I'll be getting in the works. The goal thermometer to the right has been reset - with one goal down, we're on to the goal of raising the home study money. Thank you so much for helping us reach our first goal!!!

So -- please share the current information with friends, family, churches, etc. Scarves are officially available now - send requests for colors/styles by clicking the email me link to the right. See currently available scarves on the T-shirt Scarves for Tanya tab. The other option is to send payment with instructions - how ever is best for you!

Thanks again for your continued prayers and support. I could never fully express how much this means to me.