Many of you will not understand this. Those of you with real phobias probably will.
A little background here: I am terrified of needles -- Always have been (really, you can ask my mom). When I was a kid, I remember running around a school gym trying to get away from my mom at a random immunization clinic. I also remember 'going along' to my sisters' doctor appointments and then *surprise* time for a shot for me, too. My mom got clever - she had to. Once I got older, I just avoided needles. I was almost not allowed to come back to high school because I had not gotten my MMR booster. I was almost not allowed to come to my daycare job because I had not started my Hepatitis B series. For almost 10 years after that awful day, I managed to almost completely avoid needles (except for that one TB test .... ). And then I needed a good-paying job, and the Red Cross was going to send me to Kuwait. There was one catch - I had to update ALL of my immunizations and get a few new ones. A total panic attack, many tears, and an embarrassing mother-daughter moment later, I survived all 8 shots. When I ended up not going with the military, my first relief was that I would not have to get the smallpox, anthrax, and finish the Hep A and B series. To be honest, I'm not sure I could have gone through with all of those. Sad, I know.
And then came Tanya. Because she has a compromised immune system, it is imperative that I be immunized for everything possible. I could never forgive myself if I brought something home that made her sick. So I knew that I needed to bite the bullet and finish the Hep A and B series.
Today I made my first sacrifice for my daughter (I really like the sound of that .... my daughter). Yes, I've spent time and some money on this process, but those were easy. Today, I got a shot. And the most amazing part? I felt the prayers of those of you who saw my facebook post, I looked at a picture of Tanya, and I didn't panic. I didn't cry. I didn't avoid the appointment. I didn't even make the poor nurse wait. Because I would do anything to protect her. Anything. And today, even though it may not seem like a big deal to some of you, I began to show that.